I felt the need to start typing something for no apparent reason. All I know is that, I need to be a slave to my fingertips and follow the firing neurons in my head—-shooting in every direction—-as if it’s my final blog entry that I will write.
Really, I have nothing to say. But my mind keeps rumbling, urging me to spill whatever it is that I can say. True enough, I just might have a thing or two to share. Maybe even more, but I won’t create a theme for this entry, unlike my other entries where I obsessively attempt to write something in line with a certain title, theme or what have you.
Today, I simply write, just because I want to. And yes, as I always say (because I happen to have so many activities in this quasi-busy life of mine that I end up not harnessing this writing skill of mine), it has been yet another long time since I wrote.
In fact, it has been that long that a lot of things have taken place in between:
-I quit fb
-I started being semi-active in twitter
-I finally got a chance to live the “dangerous life” I’ve always avoided IN ONE NIGHT
-I formed conclusions and realizations, came across newfound principles inside this gray matter of mine
-I grew stronger as a person
All these in a certain span of time between my last tumblr entry, and this post. And, yes, it may seem so shallow but, yeah, these things are worthy of being mentioned, after all this is my blog entry.
Thing is,despite all these and other progress in my life, I still feel incomplete, immature even. Although I hear compliments from people regarding certain aspects of my life and personality, I still feel inadequate, like I am being too complacent and lazy and procrastinating a lot. I want to do a lot of things, I wanna be “someone” but I haven’t figured out who that someone is. Sure, I am in law school and I know, by God’s grace, that I’ll be having a professional title attached to my name in a matter of four years. But that is not the only goal I have. I am raring to go and be successful, yet, truth is, I have no concrete view of that destination.
One good thing that happened over the past few weeks is that I have learned how to get rid of the drama and the tears and the intermittent nostalgia and flare-ups. Which is why I can blog about these stuff without a hint of sadness nor depression. I just write about it, period. Not that I reduce every single experience into phrases and words and sentences of each kind, instead, I believe I have learned how to cope, slowly.
So, despite a complete blunder that I think I am facing, I just go on with my life. Not emotionless, but definitely not emotion-driven. I just hope I stay that way, for good.
Why am I saying all this? No reason.
I told you, I wrote, just because I felt like it.